being optimistic..

I'm 10DPO today. and I'm feeling optimistic about being pregnant. I really hope God answered my prayers this month! I'm feeling all sorts of symtpoms and signs..

PLEASE GOD!!!! LET ME BE PREGNANT AND LET IT STICK!!! PLEASEEEE!!! I'm going to test on Tuesday. I'll be 13DPO.. hoping that's soon enough to get a positive. I want this so bad. I'm ready for this. I'm going to drive myself crazy in the next few days waiting for that BFP!!!!!

Off of the pregnancy topic. I can't wait for these classes to be over and next quarter started. I'm sick of all these classes. (Except World Civ) I need something that holds my interest a little more. I'm supposed to be doing homework.. but I just can't motivate myself to do anything but play around on the computer. I know. it's horrible. Everyone around here is napping..except me. I feel tired.. even though I slept for about 11 hours last night. All I can think about is being pregnant and such.. I got babies on my brain. I'm so ready to be a mom.

I'm sorry this has been so focused on one thing..I will post more later..

This is unlike me..

To be so pissed off!!! I'm hiding in my room because Trav's sister is here. I'm afraid that if i'm around her, I might kill her. I'm heartbroken and mad and upset.. She's 20 and gets 3 kids she doesn't want.. I'm 21, in college, and I want a baby and can't get 1?!?! Where is that fair??

I'm hoping this is the month. It would be cool to have an October baby. I'm 8DPO and feeling pregnant.. but i'm not going to over-analyze this month! I swear!!! To make matters worse, now we can't move out.. it's impossible.. My mom told me to keep trying to get pregnant anyway.. that it's in God's hands. Well that's what we are leaving it at. If I'm meant to get pregnant.. God will decide when it's time.

***PLEASE GOD!!!! I WANT TO BE PREGNANT NOW.... PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEE**********

Sorry.. had to interupt blogging for a prayer. I want it to be February. I want a BFP to be an early Valentine's gift.

Hopefully I will be more positive later.

Random thoughts

I'm determined to do a blog. and keep it up. Because my facebook is always about me bitching.. so hopefully I can be more upbeat about this. So.. I'm on my 2nd Cycle after my miscarriage. I'm hoping we were successful this month in getting pregnant. I keep telling myself this is the cycle i'm going to get pregnant. I will have an October baby. So come on!!!

Miss Temperance, Trav's neice took her very first steps all by herself last night. She's 9 months. I almost cried. I feel like she is my own kid sometimes. Her mom hasn't been here since she was 4 months old. I change diapers, and feed her, and give her baths.. and importantly I LOVE her. unconditionally. Isn't that a mother? That's her above.

Than there is Mr. E. The crazy little cute booger he is. I love him to death also. Hearing him say "kristi!" is the highlight of my day. He is also in the picture above. Only good picture I can get of him and his sissy (this is what we call miss T) in the bathtub tonight.

Trav and I are trying to find our own place, even though we both love living with the kiddos and the rest of the crazy family, for our sanity this will be better. And we will never be that far away. Maybe this will help our fighting?

I need to lose weight. Bad.. i'm becomming someone I didn't want to be. I need to drop some weight.. and soon!!